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My work is often a collage of ideas that amalgamate in my mind until they emerge with their own story. I always have to remind myself, “Trust the process.” During the pandemic, I finally had enough time to record my first album Kriya. I rented a soundproof home in Michigan for three weeks with a grand piano. The end goal was to produce a singer-songwriter piano album.
A week before I was set to check into the house, I made the decision to go rock climbing. While climbing, I ended up damaging my pinky finger. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to play the piano but I couldn’t back out. So I went to the house.
In no time I found myself setting up underneath the piano with my loop pedal. I treated the space like a big wooden fort and dug deep into a meditative chorus of improvisation. I was expressing my kriya—my spiritual emergency witnessing my own struggle to break free from imposter syndrome.
Coming from a Midwest home in a working-class area, people always had their two cents to spend about my way of being. The sentiment that still haunts me is if you want to be an artist, you’d better get used to asking if you want fries with that. Previously, I was always trying to make things perfect. Which meant that nothing would ever be done.
I promised myself during covid that I would just make a deadline and finish something, anything. I had an idea of what I imagined it to be. But it became what it is now, and what it wanted to be. A homage to my first performances in Oakland as “The Quieter.” I would always open and stand up on stage and sing acapella. The audience would hush with the vulnerability of it all. Some would cry and there was always one drunk guy being shushed and moved out of the venue. I have a vocal range that can create depth in vocals looped, creating a chorus of one. So that's what I did.
I am an artist. That's just the way it is. No one can take that away from me. I will feel a spark. I will witness it and I will follow it in whatever form that manifests. I urge you to feel free to do the same.
Also, I must say there is nothing wrong with being the person who asks ‘Would you like fries with that?’ We are people and we all have worth. I just hope that everyone follows their own spark. It doesn't have to be art. It can be anything that lights you up. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like your flame isn’t worth feeding. Just feed it and watch it grow.
ABOUT THE ARTIST
SumVivus, a solo multidisciplinary artist, creates ripples. An ephemeral improvised or predefined ethereal expression of the space and time that she inhabits. An ever-evolving experience creating honest intimacy with the moment through whatever medium finds itself wanting.
Follow on Instagram @sumvivus
Words and music by SumVivus. Portraits by Hilary Northcraft.
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